I say to myself laughingly of course! Parents are by no means perfect, just as our children are not. And no one expects perfection – but we can change our perspective on what is acceptable…what is ok…what is perfect for YOU. Our children, like ourselves and certainly like our parenting styles, are unique. There is not one approach, not one single way to “parent” that is correct – because there is no cookie – cutter child. Our children are individuals – and they come into this world with a certain message that they carry with them…and a certain message they may lack – or need to hear more of. My own children are so very different, and need different attention, different kinds of affection and different kinds of support and praise.
Peaceful parenting, positive parenting…whatever you want to call it – has one thing in common. Well, two actually..perspective and LOVE. Since we all have the latter for our children, I guess perspective is really all we need. “Really all” is funny – considering how hard it is to find that perspective, let alone keep it, on a day when you are feeling worn out, irritated, at wit’s end and can’t referee one more screaming match or argument.
It is definitely a journey, this parenting thing. And each year, I am getting better at it. I have small victories along the way where my child will say something profoundly loving, or say I’m sorry, or handle a disagreement with “rock paper scissors” instead of a shove (hey, I said they were “small” victories). But I rejoice in those – they are learning skills, skills that will make them better people, better communicators, better friends….and someday a better parent than me! That will happen as they have more perspective and more patience than those before them – because they were raised with it.
I look forward to the day when they have their own children and say, “man, Mom, how did you DO IT with the two of us…?” And I can say, “I knew you would be a wonderful man and father…I just stayed positive”. And yes, you have to believe it is just that easy.
Come to the Peaceful, Positive Parenting workshop at the Family Tree Therapies conference room next Thursday, March 29th. It starts at 10 a.m and lasts just 2 hours, but it will be the first step on a journey that we all need – to find more love, peace and harmony both in our families and within ourselves.
Contact firstname.lastname@example.org to register! See you there!